watching: the screen...I should stop making a habit of this :/
listening to: the thoughts in my head
mood: depressed
Ugh! What's wrong wih me??

Sooooo....it's 12:42 in the morning and can't sleep, again, this happens every night, ever since a few months ago...usually I'm ok, during normal waking hours, I get sad alot more than I used to, but I laugh sometimes and stuff and I talk to Cole and he makes me laugh (usually) too...but when it's the middle of the night and it's just me, then my brain goes fucking haywire, I get depressed and feel alone and sad and like nobody cares, I really, really hate it...I wish the night would never come *siiiighs* someone put me out of my misery, pleeeaase...I caaan't believe Cole just left me all by myself, I dc'd and when I came back, he was goone...
I'm starting to get scared about uni, I don't like change and even though the routine of high school got tedious at the end, it was something that I need, I need rules, even though I hate them and I need support, even if I sometimes push it away, cos I wanna do my own thing. With uni, I know I'll get into a new routine, but right now, I'm scared. However, I don't know if I'll get the support I need...maybe this is something I need, to break away from old habits and shit, mybe it'll make me more independant and self-reliant-instead of relying on others to make sure I do my hw and hand in assignments and stuff...maybe it's what I need.
Time to draaag my tired body and rambling mind to bed.

I sort of understand that feeling. I get it sometimes. THe best remedy seems to be to tal or hang out with friends more often, or if yu're all alone, try doing something constructive.. it seems to give one's time a purpose, and i don't feel like I'm wasting away. I usually come up with a song for guitar or write poetry.
» le_battement on 2005-01-22 08:07:44

yeah Ed's right...try doing something constructive or something that will keep your mind off of these things...going to "uni" as you put it will help you to be more indapendent...you'll realize that you and only you will have to make decisions...and at the same time you'll have more freedom...i'm always here for yuh (and i apoligize for last night) and i'm sure everything will be just fine in the end.
» Kollin6618 on 2005-01-22 06:37:05

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